different types of drunks

when someone says ohh so and so his this kind of drunk and ohh him his such a so and so drunk I reckon that is complete bullshit except shehan who we all know every time he drinks somehow magically pisses 3 times his own body weight every hour. But as to what kind of drunk you are i reckon depends on who you are with and how you are feeling before u start drinking. but here is a basic brake down of the different kinds of drunks simply because im bored and cod stopped working.

1.the I love you man
2.depressed drunk
3.the agressive drunk

The I love you man drunk: this drunk is easy to spot because they are usually running around the party yelling "i love you man" and "your my best friend" to everyone they meet. when encountering this kind of drunk for Christ sake put your drinks somewhere safe when they try and put there arm around you sometimes they forget to stop running and what was ment to be a friendly gesture can turn into a clothes line. If they manage to stop still keep them drinks hidden because this is also a classic move the scab drinks which usually sounds like this" OH hey man is that ... never tried that can i have some" as harmless as this may sound your chances of seeing the bottle or can again is fairly limited. To get this drunk to move on the best approach is to pawn them off to someone else by say something along the lines of "hey an i think ...is looking for you he/she went that way" once they have left give it a second or two to make sure they are gorn then it is safe to comence drinking.

The depressed drunk: this kinda of drunk usually doesnt pose any for issue alsong as they are in low numbers. this kind of drunk enjoys sitting around feeling sorry for them selves and engaging in deep and meaningfuls and would love nothing more then to bring u down with them because one thing we can be sure of is misery loves company. when the numbers begin to increase and more and more people are slowly sapped into deep and meaningfuls this is when a problem arrises. Though little is known on how to overcome this issue one method i can assure from personal experence doesnt work is going up to one of these drunks and yelling at them to "CHEER THE FUCK UP YOU EMO BASTARD". Be warned logic does not work the only known way in which to couter act these drunks is by increasing the hype if the party through popular songs like tik tok, all the single ladies and love story(not my most inspired thought given but you get my point) and through the use of drinking games like beer pong and girl bikini mud wrestling.

The agressive drunk: this drunk i mainly occupied by males but dont be fooled girls sometimes can also jump on a war path and are not to be taken lightly a combination of sleep depredation, just been dumped and it just been that time of the month can create a lethal combination. with these types of drunks there is no settling just get out of the way or get run the fuck down. if they start on you dont swing back unless no other options are avalible if they are it is best just to forgive forget and get your arse out of there. If you swing back they will see this a challange a oppurtunity and you can bet that shit is about to go down. If you are bored at a party and dont and dont know or care about the person being started on gather around because there will a good show. Tatics if forced to confront the drunk will go for the coon swing nearly everytime this is very slow so it should be easy enough to dodge your main advantage is balance so if you are gonna swing back ur punches should follow through to try and knock the off balance once on the ground escaping is made easier and revenge can be taken out later that night once they are asleep through the use of a permant markers, some warm water/honey or if you believe in karma you can just let the hang over do its thing but to have the most fun a feather and some wipped cream is required ;).

i hope this helpful to everyone
(this guide is complete crap and nothing should be taken seriously also drink resposibly and limit yourself to 12 standard drinks a hour)