different types of drunks

when someone says ohh so and so his this kind of drunk and ohh him his such a so and so drunk I reckon that is complete bullshit except shehan who we all know every time he drinks somehow magically pisses 3 times his own body weight every hour. But as to what kind of drunk you are i reckon depends on who you are with and how you are feeling before u start drinking. but here is a basic brake down of the different kinds of drunks simply because im bored and cod stopped working.

1.the I love you man
2.depressed drunk
3.the agressive drunk

The I love you man drunk: this drunk is easy to spot because they are usually running around the party yelling "i love you man" and "your my best friend" to everyone they meet. when encountering this kind of drunk for Christ sake put your drinks somewhere safe when they try and put there arm around you sometimes they forget to stop running and what was ment to be a friendly gesture can turn into a clothes line. If they manage to stop still keep them drinks hidden because this is also a classic move the scab drinks which usually sounds like this" OH hey man is that ... never tried that can i have some" as harmless as this may sound your chances of seeing the bottle or can again is fairly limited. To get this drunk to move on the best approach is to pawn them off to someone else by say something along the lines of "hey an i think ...is looking for you he/she went that way" once they have left give it a second or two to make sure they are gorn then it is safe to comence drinking.

The depressed drunk: this kinda of drunk usually doesnt pose any for issue alsong as they are in low numbers. this kind of drunk enjoys sitting around feeling sorry for them selves and engaging in deep and meaningfuls and would love nothing more then to bring u down with them because one thing we can be sure of is misery loves company. when the numbers begin to increase and more and more people are slowly sapped into deep and meaningfuls this is when a problem arrises. Though little is known on how to overcome this issue one method i can assure from personal experence doesnt work is going up to one of these drunks and yelling at them to "CHEER THE FUCK UP YOU EMO BASTARD". Be warned logic does not work the only known way in which to couter act these drunks is by increasing the hype if the party through popular songs like tik tok, all the single ladies and love story(not my most inspired thought given but you get my point) and through the use of drinking games like beer pong and girl bikini mud wrestling.

The agressive drunk: this drunk i mainly occupied by males but dont be fooled girls sometimes can also jump on a war path and are not to be taken lightly a combination of sleep depredation, just been dumped and it just been that time of the month can create a lethal combination. with these types of drunks there is no settling just get out of the way or get run the fuck down. if they start on you dont swing back unless no other options are avalible if they are it is best just to forgive forget and get your arse out of there. If you swing back they will see this a challange a oppurtunity and you can bet that shit is about to go down. If you are bored at a party and dont and dont know or care about the person being started on gather around because there will a good show. Tatics if forced to confront the drunk will go for the coon swing nearly everytime this is very slow so it should be easy enough to dodge your main advantage is balance so if you are gonna swing back ur punches should follow through to try and knock the off balance once on the ground escaping is made easier and revenge can be taken out later that night once they are asleep through the use of a permant markers, some warm water/honey or if you believe in karma you can just let the hang over do its thing but to have the most fun a feather and some wipped cream is required ;).

i hope this helpful to everyone
(this guide is complete crap and nothing should be taken seriously also drink resposibly and limit yourself to 12 standard drinks a hour)

the death of the pick up line

(before i begin those of you who have a go at me about my spelling FUCK OFF)

we have all heard or atleast dreamt of the days where a man could go up to a girl with a witty pick up line like "hey babe i lost my teddy will u sleep with me" then the next thing u know it they be skipping off to the bedroom or another respective area and would go at it like rabbits. in current days everything unless ur some form of super human requires standard ground work before he would evan think about trying to find the balls to bust a move. this shift in times falls down to one possible explanation woman are begining to get to smart for our own good. over the past few decades multiple servays have included that the average self esteem measured in cpsi(cockyness per square inch) and average I.Q have been on the steady increase. this means one thing the number sluts,slappas and whores per square kilometre has decreased dramaticly. So what are we as males ment to do then? two options the first is to do nothng and allow trend to progress and before you know it we will all be stuck in commited relationships from the age of 2(not that theres anything wrong with that you know if ur into that kinda stuff thats ur choice) or the second option which is to fight back and stop this cancerous trend now. The next time ur walking past a girl and she says hi u tell her to go suck a dick when she asks does my but look big in this u reply hell yeh it does and finally and most important well u sleep with a girl for christ sake dont call her back. if we all bamd together we can bring back the golden days of the simple you, sex, now.

the clothing come back

reseantly i've been recieving several comebacks which involve insulting my clothes. Those of you who know me would know that as far as things that i care about my clothing is right down the bottom of the list. the most recent of these happened yesterday as the person progressed to tell me that my 3 year old nikes were infact uncool. Now im not new to been told this just not as a attempted insult usually its just a "dude you need new shoes" or something like that but this person went for broke and continued up to make fun of my black shorts and jumper that i found in my closet that morning. Now this isnt what pissed me off what did though is that everyone around thought it was a "sick burn". whilst i was just lef standing there thinking "what the fuck was that". I just got apparently owned by been told my clothes that i wore to a rowing regatta wernt "cool" enough. now this person knows who they are but seriously thats just weak. It reminded me of something two gay guys would say whilst bickering about whos new D&G sun glasses looked more FABULOUS. So to all those who mock mens clothing out there remeber this one thing the next time ur styling ur hair and putting on a pair of D&G underware no one cares. (yes that was ment to rhyme to make it sound more gay and i thought it would be cool)

fucking d&mers

you walk into a party theres ment to be like 40 people there u look around not a person to be seen u think ok i'll drop my shit in his room then figure out whats going on u go to open the door but its locked think to urself ok thats kool go to the next door its also locked getting a little pissed off go to the next door LOCKED by this time u figure out that nearly every door in the bloody house because there is some little anti social assholes fucking having a deep and meaningful. u think as the night goes on it'll get better but no as they get drunker it gets worse. whos life is so screwed up that they have the need to lock themselves in a room with someone else and just talk for like 5 hours. i'm all for talking out ur problems and shit but why do it at partys it is the most ridiculous thing ever thats what fucking sleep overs are for. If your problems are that bad sought it out like the rest of us with a bottle of stiff booze a friend and a fucking super nintendo. This whole d&ming bullshit is ruining partys needless to say its pissing me off then all the couples at a party taking in turns to sneak off to the bedroom for a quickie through out the night

the college fairy tale couple

The college fairtale couple, two people who have been together since school gotten married and spent the rest of their life together has got to be the saddest thing ever for both man and woman besides becoming a priest, sister or getting involved in some other form of religious sect. who on gods good green earth would want to eat(in this blog eat is a metaphore for have sex with) the same thing every single day for their whole life i mean in all fairness bacon hell evan grand angus's get old after a while. These couples usually say "its because we were made for each other" or something along a similar line but how do u know that the toast is better then the cerial if u have never tried it. So i ask you anyone who has been a one woman man their whole life man the fuck up dump her ass and go try something new. If you two where "made for each other" then u will fail miserably and u will come back to her knowing yep the toast is deffinatly better the cerial and in the end wont u be better off knowing that for certain.